YOUNG COUPLES WHO ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS FOR MARRIAGE BUT NOT YET MARRIED.

DISCLAIMER: This article is primarily meant for young people in Christ who are seeking answers on questions regarding relationships. The article below draws its conclusions by applying principles from the Holy Bible. I am not encouraging you to get into relationships prematurely. Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge Him, And He will direct thy paths. Psalm 119:9 "How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word."

  1 Corithians 13:4-7 "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Sometimes in our relationships, as we prepare for marriage, we do not really know how to handle ourselves, how to behave, how to treat each other, or still we don't even know whether we are supposed to be in the relationship or not. This article might not appeal to many as you may have wished, however, there are those that are pursuing relationship for marriage, just like Mary had been betrothed to Joseph. There are very few bible verses that talk about premarital relationships and all the related issues that will be mentioned below, nonetheless; whatever point I will stress here, will be supported by a relevant verse so that we do not chase the wind in our pursuit for marriage.

Premarital counseling is a great way to build a relationship with God, and if we get it wrong at this stage we might not even end up getting married or, ultimately run into great problems when we are married. Attend more seminars or church programmes for more information on premarital counseling. Proverbs 4:7 "The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding."  Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being My priest. Since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children." Using (Bible-based) premarital counseling is a great way to get to know each other better. You may find out some things about your potential spouse that you don't like. Now is the time to address these issues, not after you have already gotten married, because you would not want to be part of statistics due to your ignorance.

HOW TO KEEP OUR YOUNG PREMARITAL RELATIONSHIPS SANCTIFIED

• FIRSTLY, marriage according to Ephesians 5:22-33 is a mystery that depicts Christ's marriage to the church, so you ought to understand that before you pursue any relationship for marriage.
• Meaning that marriage is for Born-Again Christians, likewise you cannot be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. So it is a relationship for Spirit-filled people, not for unbelievers because they do not understand the mystery of marriage. So if you are reading this and are in a relationship for marriage but not born-again, then you are not supposed to be in the relationship altogether, use this to be equipped. I will later on include a salvation prayer in another article on the blog, so that you get your story right first and seek a relationship with Jesus before you pursue that lady, or allow a man to pursue you. I say this because in any relationship problems will come but if you don't know why you are in that relationship and are not grounded in Christ you will crumble and fall, then break up.
• As people of God, we cannot be driven by culture, however Scripture should drive us in all that we do and in relationships we engage in.
• So in that relationship there should be 3 parties: you, your partner and Jesus. As you submit to each other you must have reverence for Christ, its that simple.

• SECONDLY, Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge" 1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body" Fornication means sex before marriage, and adultery is sleeping with a person who is married to someone else. A Premarital relationship is not marriage, likewise promising someone that you will marry them does not equal marriage.
• The point here is this: AVOID PHYSICAL CONTACT/CLOSENESS, as much as we are attracted to our partners we ought to avoid such contact, especially when we are in isolated places. Save those intimate moments for marriage by abstaining. You know, in terms of practicality in this matter, I won't define right or wrong contact, you have the Holy Spirit to lead you. Paul says, if you burn with desire get married (1 Cor 7:36),  but if you do not want to marry  but are still burning with desire then do not be intimate either, get out of the relationship and seek guidance from God.
• Sexually transmitted diseases have spread as a result of an increase in sexual activity outside of marriage, a condom will not protect you from the wrath of GOD.

• THIRDLY, STOP FAKING AND KEEP TO YOUR CHARACTER. 1 Timothy 6:6 "But godliness with contentment is great gain." Galatians 5:22-23 " But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Be true to yourself and to those whom you shall relate to, use the fruits of the spirit and check yourself. It doesn't help to fake who you are, or lie to others about your true identity , rather manifest now so that you will be helped sooner rather than later.

• FOURTHLY, ECCLESIASTES 1:9 "That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun." Learn to LISTEN and get COUNSEL from those that have gone before you, it's easy: just allow to be corrected by those above you as well. God put them there for a reason. Titus 3:1 "Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good."   Psalm 1 says, 'blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly,' so it's better you seek godly counsel. 
  

• 1 Thessalonian 5:11 "So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing." As much as you are in this relationship together always learn to ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER. This will eventually build more love, trust and security in the relationship. Above all, you can create some time to pray together and even share the word together with your partner, meaning to say that if your partner is an unbeliever, your relationship will not work out, because you do not pray and share the word together. Don't ever think that, by unequally yoking yourselves,  you will change your partner, what if they change you??? . Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." 

• Be UNITED in the Spirit of God. Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.", now they are to serve Christ together as a unit and raise their children to serve God

• FINALLY, If you say you are in this relationship for the right reason of marriage then marriage rules should apply so that you will not eventually fail when you get there. Ephesians 5:21-25 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." 

• ALLOW THE MAN TO LEAD and remember the bible does not recognize marriage within the same gender(1 Cor 6:9). So the man referred to here will always be the male sex being head over the female one, do not get it twisted.
• If he doesn't have the leadership skills pray for him and support him at all times. A man who leads is the first to serve, or bleed or die, just like Christ. "Normally men watch better than they listen, so whatever you do in action ladies, will impact your partners than the words you say"  
• No woman needs to accept the proposal of any man, but if she does, she should accept his headship as an act of faith in Christ's Lordship. Ephesians 5:22, do it with an act of willingness and gentleness (like Mary did to Joseph)  or else do not be in the relationship if you are not ready.
• But that doesn't mean men are superior to women, we are all equals, any relationship that leads to marriage means it is a partnership between equals, a wife's spiritual submission is given and not taken, so men, you don't have to demand that. Be a man who earns his LADY'S submission do not abuse YOUR lady and violate her in order to get her to submit to you.

The seven points mentioned above are not exhaustive, but are sufficient for the young relationships to be carried out in purity and all holiness before marriage. 1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

Malachi 2:15 "Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."
My final word to you is this; guard you heart will all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life, also work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God and the peace of God, which surpasseth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. I also pray that you grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

(SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION BELOW, there is a lot to say and more will be addressed based on your questions!!!)